Who Do You Trust With Your Life?

“To live a better life do for and help each other (people).” – Raj Gavurla

Who do you trust with your life? This is a question that had me thinking for a while. It surfaced throughout my career as I’ve been doing for and helping people transform in all aspects of life as an expert who speaks professionally, author, coach/consultant, and my service in the community. I’ve met people who are doing and helping in very meaningful ways. There are also people doing for and helping in anonymous ways. I’ve also met people whose family has left them because the situation was too much for them to take. I’ve met foster kids who don’t know who their parents are. I’ve also met people who are doing for and helping people to exist instead of showing them how to live a robust life.

Being an entrepreneur wasn’t an easy road for me. Some of the closest people to me laughed at me, didn’t see me as one for some reason (I never asked why), and some said and did mean things that I used to consistently better my motivation and inspiration, always with a positive attitude, and to consistently transform my mindset so that I could be in a positive mood. When this consistently happens everything is easier. Along the way was spiritual growth and maturity. I made the decision, “I want/aspire to win and grow”.

Since this post isn’t about what “win and grow” means to me, I won’t cover that in this post. As my career progressed and I’ve become more involved in the community I see my thought as a boy when I saw someone struggling or suffering was not true. I use to think “we are setup to thrive” and they have nothing to worry about. As an adult, I realize my childhood lens was incorrect. However, as an adult I also realize I can do for and help people to do for and help each other (people) so we are “setup to thrive”. There shouldn’t be poverty and it should be easier for people to pursue great dreams, callings, visions, goals, missions, and aspirations instead of the negativity from some people and obstacles.  Whether they are systemic, policy, law, or strategic.

What I learned through this was the answer to my opening question. Who do you trust with your life? My answer is God (the lord), myself, my family, and the right people. The right people can be friends or random people you’ve never met that came into your life to consistently make better progress. When you share the right things with the right people at the right time instead of thinking you are on an island it is easier. This means you need to do the research to find who these people are, endlessly learn, apply the learning, and develop, build, and grow the life and lifestyle you aspire to. “We the people” are making better progress, however, we must make it easier for everyone to live their great dreams, have family and friends, and be involved with the community.

“It has always been a mystery to me how men can feel themselves honoured by the humiliation

of their fellow beings.” – Mahatma Gandhi

For programs and services, contact Raj at 864.569.2315, raj@rajgavurla.com, LiiiVEN.

Communicating With Each Other

“Get and give your best, you are rewarded for it.” – Raj Gavurla

Communicating with each other occurs well most of the time. When does negative conflict arise? It’s when the communication isn’t flowed through to its conclusion. Like a story, communication takes as long as it needs to take based on the situation. It creates value.

Examples:

Someone says: “we”, “they” [If it’s not clear who “we” or “they” is then ask.] You ask: “Who is we?” or “Who is they?”

Someone says: “You made mistakes.” [If it’s not clear what they are referring to.] You ask: “What mistakes?”

Someone says: “If someone is interrupting you.” [and it’s not obvious why] You ask: “Why are you making that sound?”

Someone says: “That’s good, great, or they like something.” [If it’s not clear what they are referring to.] You ask: “What’s good or great about it? Why do you like it?”

Someone says: “You need to grow up.”
You ask: “What do you mean?”

Someone says: “You are a nerd.”
You ask: “What do you mean?” or “Who is a nerd?”

Someone says: “You are a geek.”
You ask: “What do you mean?” or “Who is a geek?”

Someone says: “I want confidence.”
You ask: “Do you think we don’t have confidence?”

Someone says: “I don’t know.” [If it’s not clear what they are referring to.] You ask: “What do you not know?”

Someone says: “I’m hurt.”
You ask: “What hurts?”

TEAM: Together Everyone Achieves More

Recently, I’ve been hearing about how everyone gets recognition or an award for participating on a team.  The only awards that mean anything are the first three.  All the others don’t have meaning.

If you are a coach or lead a team, this is my perspective on participation awards:

My only criteria for someone being on the team is “they want/aspire to consistently perform better at what the team/they do and what the team/they aspire to”.  Each progresses at their pace and some will make better progress faster and be rewarded more.  However, each does deserve an award.

Examples: You want/aspire to perform (play) better doctor, engineer, lawyer, accountant, chemist, business owner, boss, manager, supervisor, professor, football, basketball, soccer, tennis, track, and golf.  As long as the people on your team have this as an aspiration and they are working on it then it’s your job and their job to do for and help each other make better progress.  As you consistently do this, you will like what you achieve and when you apply this to other aspects of your life you have a robust living.

Therefore, you need to share with each other what you are working on.  Realize what people are “working on” is very important to them, therefore, don’t be negative about it or make senseless comments, “same story”, “what’s it getting you”, etc.

“Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself.  

You are better than you think.” – Tim Ferriss

 For programs and services, contact Raj at 864.569.2315, raj@rajgavurla.com, LiiiVEN.

Consistently Perform Well In All Aspects of Life: Win and Make Better Money The Right Way

“Consistently perform well in all aspects of life: Win and make better money the right way.”

– Raj Gavurla

Something annoys me every time it happens. While doing my track training at a local high school (the high school is not important) I see and hear teenagers using racial slurs and denigrating each other.  I know we are taking about teenagers whether they are thinking they are “being cool” or “using it as intimidation”.

A few days ago, it was something I hadn’t seen before. Football players were using racial slurs while their coaches were present. One set of coaches were high school coaches and the other set of coaches were coaching middle school kids preparing to play for their high school. Racial slurs were being used by the high school teenagers to their teammates during practice and while taking water breaks.  The middle school team wasn’t using racial slurs or denigrating each other.  In fact, during their conditioning a teammate was last in finishing his track work and the whole team ran to him with him finishing ahead of some of them on purpose.  Obviously, learning how to run track would make it easier for this boy as the players and coaches are relying mostly on talent at that age so he doesn’t always finish last.

Stopping the “nonsense” of teammates using racial slurs and denigrating each other has high-value worth for forward performance progress socially and environmentally.  Leadership by the coaches would be of great use.  If I was a coach, I wouldn’t allow my players (team) to use racial slurs or denigrating word choices.  My working with athletes at all levels the use of racial slurs and denigrating word choices might work temporarily but not as they progress to realize it takes real learning and application of skill to progress from high school to college to professional in anything they choose to do in education, sports, business, and life.

Cultivating this approach develops, builds, and grows character and dignity which is of high-value worth as we are experiencing societal and cultural transformation in America and throughout the globe.

“Do small things with great love.” – Mother Teresa

For programs and services, contact Raj Gavurla at 864.569.2315, raj@rajgavurla.com, LiiiVEN.

Better Self-Management

“Better self-management: Put brain, heart, and muscle power into it.” – Raj Gavurla

Lately there has been an increase in the use of the word “he/she/they/we don’t want” or “attitude” used instead of really helping the person who you think should want or have a positive attitude towards something.

Examples:

1.  “Because he/she doesn’t want to make an A”.  Most people want to make “A’s”.  So it’s ridiculous to say they don’t want to that’s why they aren’t.  Yes, the ability to teach is not a skill everyone has developed, built, grown, and usually the people who don’t have this skill revert to the two reasons why; “they don’t want to” or “attitude”.

Everyone’s situation is different, however, one way to increase reading comprehension, retention, and application of learning might be the following:

1.  Read the first paragraph of the chapter

2.  Read the last paragraph of the chapter

3.  Read the headings in the chapter if present

4.  Ask yourself questions as you read specific sections

5.  Write in the margins to denote its significance to you

Yes, this takes more prep time/work, however, it makes you faster in the end because of your ability to comprehend, retain, and apply the learning.

2.  You see this in the workplace also because people aren’t making sure all the relevant information is there or they have anxiety.  Trying to get through it as fast as they can without making sure to first check to see is all the relevant information there and if something is missing find it (research) and then put the steps needed to complete it with an estimated amount of time.  Realize, most people are working on multiple projects at work so put that into your time estimate and assign your time as “uninterrupted”, “regular”, or “interrupted” to accurately estimate the time.  This will take undue pressure off of you.  If someone wants you to do it faster without providing you the tools or methods to do so then tell them “that’s as soon as I can have it done”.  Put some margin in there for breathing room and unexpected events.  Planning helps.

3.  When I taught Career Planning & Exploration my students were future medical assistants, owners, entrepreneurs, computer technicians, and business management professionals.

To prepare, I learned about their course of study to grasp some of the vocabulary to relate to them.  As we prepared for mock interviews, I would ask relevant questions pertaining to their field as being knowledgeable and then play the role of someone who wasn’t knowledgeable about their field but had a role in learning to run a better business.  Seeing their qualitative answers in the debrief was insightful because of what was surprising, shocking, or went unnoticed. As they sat in a waiting room to prepare for a mock interview you could sense, see, and feel their brains, hearts, and muscles working.  One had received news a few hours before that her apartment was flooded, one was battling chronic pain, and the others had their situation.

They all did well in their mock interviews because of “better self-management”.  There were areas they felt they could have done better.  That’s very important to know you can do better by increasing your skills although you are already skilled (competent) in a specific skill.

So, to transform your performance think of these examples and how you relate (“adaptability link”) to them.  “Better self-management” makes it easier for you to transform your performance.

“Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” Theodore Roosevelt

For programs and services, contact Raj Gavurla at 864.569.2315, raj@rajgavurla.com, LiiiVEN.

What Robust Olympics Memories Do You Want?

“What robust Olympic memories do you want?” – Raj Gavurla

Robust Olympic Moments: https://www.theguardian.com/sport/series/50-stunning-olympic-moments

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt

“You can have it all. Just not all at once.” ― Oprah Winfrey

“Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams come true.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

For programs and services, contact Raj Gavurla at 864.569.2315, raj@rajgavurla.com, LiiiVEN.